I got a phone call the other day from a family member. It was super awkward at first. I had no idea what to say, or why was she calling. The first thing that came to my mind was someone died, or what did I do now that they wanna bitch about? But it was the complete opposite.
We started the conversation off with some small talk and than she got down to buisness. She said sorry, she apologized. I was shocked. She said sorry for the way she treated me after my divorce, she said sorry for gossiping about me, and she said sorry for judging me and adding to my pain. Tears filled my eyes, I didn't know what to say. I thought that I have forgiven her a long time ago. When I heard of all the things she said about me and how she spread a lot of gossip around I was so mad and hurt. I didn't understand someone that l called family would say things or do things like that. I can honestly say that I hated her. Everytime I saw her I wanted to physically hurt her. I grew bitter and angry and miserable towards that person. It was not healthy. So, one day I decided to "forgive" her. At least I thought I did. But when she said sorry, at that moment I knew I truly forgave her and that it was time to move on from the past hurts she has caused me. It doesn't mean that I trust her completely with my deepest darkest secrets and thoughts but it means I am not letting that bitterness and anger rule my life anymore. By her apologizing means she knew she hurt me and she doesn't ever wanna cause me that pain again. So, if you are reading this. I just want you know that I really, really appreciated you taking time out of your day to call me and say sorry. It meant a lot to me knowing that you know what you did was wrong and you wanted to make it right and hopefully have a relationship like a family should. I really hope one day that we could get together, that you can meet Kashtyn and see my family. I hope that we can all move past this and carry on. Thank you so much, and I truly forgive you.
I'm sorry to. To my family I am sorry that I wasn't honest about my previous marriage and the struggles that I was going through. I'm sorry for the shock that I put everyone through. I'm sorry for running away from my problems and people. I'm sorry for the dishonesty. I really hope and pray that you see me trying too do things right now. That Dave and I wanna get married, and really work at our relationship. I never wanna go through a divorce again. I wanna show my boys a healthy long lasting relationship even though I screwed up bad in the past. I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me, come along side us, pray for us, and love us. We need you, we need family.
