DOUBLE CHOCOLATE COOKIES.

I have been looking a long time for a double chocolate cookie recipe. Every one that I have tried turned out to be dry, and would be stale in a day or two. So I turned to my trusty Mennonite cookbooks and I think I have finally found one that I love and the whole family loves. They are so chewy, and they melt in your mouth!  Sharing is caring, so here you go!  ENJOY!



Double Chocolate Cookies

Ingredients 

1 cup butter
2 cups white sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 1/4 cups flour
1/2 cup cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups chocolate chips


Make it!

1) Preheat oven to 350'F

2) Cream butter and sugars together ( if you are using a Kitchen Aid mixer use your paddle to cream, it turns out perfect!)

3) Add eggs and vanilla, and mix.

4) Add the dry ingredients, and mix well.

5) Add chocolate chips, and mix with a wooden spoon.

6) Drop by teaspoonfuls on cookies sheets, and bake at 350'F for 7 to 8 minutes. I only baked them for 7 minutes, and when I took them out I let them rest on the cookie sheet for 1 minute before putting them on the drying rack.

7) Pour yourself a big glass of milk and ENJOY!

Sometimes it just hurts.

Sometimes loving my boys hurts. You love them so much you wanna protect them from everything, and maintain their innocence. But you know you can't, and that hurts. It hurts knowing that one day they will get their heart broken, have struggles in life, grow up, leave the nest and learn hard life lessons. Every thought of that brings excitement but hurt. 

When it is time for them to leave the nest and do their own thing. I can't help think if I equipped them enough? Did I pray for them enough? Did I love them enough? Did I teach them good lessons? Did I yell too much? Will they ever wanna come home and visit? Did I baby them to much? Did they're childhood scar them? 

Question after question, and anxiety after anxiety. I feel that it never stops. And honestly I don't think it will ever stop. 

Last night was brutal. Such anxiety. Thinking over and over what I can do to make the days easier, and smoother. I feel lately it's been so busy that I haven't had time to breathe. I'm exhausted. And the mom guilt, oh dear, that stupid mom guilt. I yelled too much today, I snapped too much! They are probably going to bed thinking that mommy is the worst, meanest mommy ever! Lately, everything about being a mommy hurts. I honestly feel some days like giving up, crawling into bed, and sleeping the next 18 years away.  

But I know I can't. Those three little humans are counting on me, they need me, they want me and I know that they love me. 

So, my dear Hayden, Willy, and Kashy poo. I am sorry. Mommy is really trying her best. I am sorry for raising my voice to much. I am sorry for being to busy some days to authentically play with you. I am sorry for taking my frustrations out on you. I love you, and I am trying my best to be the best mom that I can be to you three. I will fail, I will have bad days. And I hope that you will forgive me, and love me anyway.  I am and will always be your biggest cheerleader. I love you three so much. So much, that it hurts.

This picture will always be my favorite, I remember that day and how busy we were. Kash was a month old. we just moved and it was the week of swimming lessons. Kash wouldn't stop crying and wanted to be held. I couldn't hold him because I was getting things ready for swimming. So, Hayden volunteered to hold him. I ran downstairs to get their swimming bag and came back up to this scene. So thankful for them, their patience and willingness to help. 

C H R I S T M A S. // T R A D I T I O N S //

For the last three years Christmas has been exciting but has also brought an element of sadness. Three years ago my mom had her second brain surgery. She had the surgery right around Christmas time and wasn't herself when Christmas came. It was heartbreaking to see my mom on the couch not being able to celebrate Christmas the way I knew she desperately wanted to. It was heartbreaking for the whole family. She is the one that brings Christmas and cheer into the home. The one that decorated, the one who cooked and baked, and the one that made us pose for cheesy Christmas pictures. I can seriously say that was the worst Christmas ever.  Thankfully, my mom healed from the surgery and we have been able to celebrate more Christmases together since! Thank you Jesus! 

That Christmas I realized that I will NEVER take Christmas with family for granted again. That I will ALWAYS cherish traditions, and that I will ALWAYS make Christmas a big deal in our home. That we will ALWAYS have traditions and as long as my boys are under our roof they will partake in these traditions. So far they LOVE the little traditions. That Christmas three years ago, I missed those little traditions that my mom made for us.  They create memories, memories that I hope my boys will talk about for years. Just like the memories we exchange around the dinner table with family. I hope that they carry on those traditions with their family and so on. 

I made a list of a few of our favorite traditions. It is never too late to start!

1. Setting up the boys Christmas tree downstairs. They have their own tree where all the homemade ornaments are.They also get to pick a ornament out from a store every year to put on their tree. When we set the tree up, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is playing in the background. And after that is done, we have a pizza/ movie night! 
2. Advent calendar. I try to do a different kind of advent calendar instead of always having the chocolate ones.  The last couple of years we have been doing books. I wrap 24 books and they get to open one every day till Christmas! Not sure what we will do this year!
3. CanadInn Light show! Our family has been doing this for the last couple years. We start the evening with McDonald's, light show and end it off with Tim Hortons! 
4. Christmas Eve tradition might be my favorite!!! As a family we open gifts with the boys on the 23rd! We then head to my parents for the Christmas Eve church service. After we go back to my parents home, eat a hoard of snacks that my mom and dad have prepared, open gifts and have a sleepover! It's so fun! And I am so thankful for this tradition that has been going since I was a little girl.
5. Gingerbread house night! We put together gingerbread houses, and drink hot chocolate. The last couple of years we have been doing this with my mom.
6. Last year we started a new tradition involving Lego! Every year Lego releases a Lego set that is Christmas theme. Last year we got the Christmas globe, and put it together as a family while again drinking hot chocolate and sucking on candy canes. 
7. A family ornament. We buy a ornament for the Christmas tree every year that signifies something that happened in the year. This year we are looking for a camper. We bought a camper this summer and we pretty much lived in it all summer! So, we think a camper ornament would be fitting for our family this year. We already miss camping, and have begun talking where we should go next summer!
8. Winter bucket list.  Winter can get boring. So we make a list of things that we want to do this season, that way it keeps it interesting and less boring! 
9. Elf on the Shelf. I said I would never do it but apparently it's all the rage and I knew the boys would get a kick out of it! So I caved and bought one. His name is Elfie. He causes lots of trouble and pranks the boys and they love it! *insert eye roll* 
10. Christmas cookie baking night! It involves cookies, lots of sugar, icing and three little hyper boys! So fun! 
11. Baking a Birthday cake for Jesus, and having a little birthday party for him. This is another favorite. The boys are so confused to why Jesus isn't there physically! To cute! 
12. Reading the Christmas story before we open gifts.

Like I said, it is never to late to start traditions. It creates memories, memories and moments you will never forget. 

Christmas hasn't always been a happy time of the year for us. But I feel that this year is different. I feel that this year it will be the most wonderful time of the year. And I hope that I NEVER take that for granted. 

Also, it's starting to look a lot like Christmas in the Sabourin/Friesen/Plett home! 

I wish I had a endless budget when it came to Christmas Decorating.
Every square inch would be Christmas!

If you any traditions you would love to share, let me know! I would love to hear them!

SOFT BAKED MONSTER COOKIES

It is time, time to get the Halloween candy out of the house. And the perfect way to get rid of all the little boxes of Smarties and M&M's is to bake MONSTER COOKIES. Which happen to be a favorite in our home. I found a recipe on the internet and its the recipe I have been using for like 4 years now. They are yummy, so yummy that they are usually gone the second day. 

So, if you have little boxes of Smarties and M&M's that you would love to get rid of, they are the cookies to make!

INGREDIENTS 

* 1/2 cup salted butter, softened to room temperature 
*1/2 cup packed light brown sugar 
*1/4 cup white sugar 
*3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
*1 large egg
*1 teaspoon vanilla extract 
*1/2 teaspoon baking soda 
*1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
*1/2 cup quick oats
*3/4 cup Smarties or M&M's 
*1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. 

DIRECTIONS

1: Preheat oven to 350F degrees. Line baking sheet parchment paper or silicone baking mat. (The best cookie pans I have ever used is from Cake Boss, you can find them at Canadian Tire.) 

2: In a large bowl, using a hand held mixer or stand mixer with paddle attachment, cream the butter and sugars together on medium speed. Mix in the peanut butter, egg, and vanilla. Slowly mix in the baking soda and flour. DO NOT OVER MIX. Fold in the quick oats, Smarties, and chocolate chips. If the dough is very soft and unmanageable by hand, chill the dough for 30 minutes before rolling. 

3: Roll balls of dough, about 2 tablespoons of dough per ball, onto cookie sheets. Bake for 9-10 minutes. DO NOT bake past 10 minutes, The cookies will appear undone. I took mine out at 9 minutes, Slightly press the cookies down with the back of a spoon or fork, because they do not spread much in the oven. Allow them to cool for 10 minutes on the baking sheet before transferring them to a wire rack. 

4: Pour yourself a tall, cold glass of milk and ENJOY!

Chef Willy hard at work!
And yes I have our Christmas Tree up. LOL

Hayden enjoyed his after school snack today!