Motherhood.

No one has ever said that being a mom was a walk in the park. I can now see why no one has said this. And if anyone has or will ever say that to me I will probably hit them.

 This whole motherhood gig is so hard some days. Last week in particular was hard. I cried, cried some more, felt depressed, felt like a failure and started to believe the lies that I made up in my own head, which I know are from the Devil himself. The boys were off the wall, disrespectful, fought constantly, and super whiny. Not. Fun. At. All. Everything I said they did the opposite. Felt like the worst parent ever. 

Some days I feel like all I do is yell, and discipline. Parenting is hard. Super hard. Going to bed feeling like a complete failure, feeling like the worst parent ever, and hoping and praying that you will wake up and they will be 18! Just kidding, that just brings a whole new set of problems. 

Than God puts little things in your mundane, stressful day that comforts you and reminds you that "your doing awesome, keep it up, your kids are good kids, your just having a bad week, don't worry about it, do what you gotta go, keep going, keep your head up!" 

Things like:   

1) my mom being out that week and which helped so much!! She took care of the house, played with the boys and smiled when I felt like I was going to break down and call it quits. 

2) devotions and quiet time with God. He definitely has a sense of humor with things! He knew exactly what I needed to read that week. 

3) Dave. He would take the boys downstairs and play and play till they couldn't play anymore. Rainy days are the worst for pent up energy. He would also encourage me  throughout the day saying I'm a good mom and to keep my head up. 

4) other moms that are going through the same thing and tell you that your not alone. 

5) finally the sunshine! That week was dreary and rainy and that weekend the sun came out and lifted everyone's spirits! 

I've also learned that instead of focusing on all the negative things that happen through the day, it helps to make a list of the positive things that have happened, and also to make a list of the positive behaviours or actions your kids did. That way in the days where you feel low and defeated you can look back and read those lists and be reminded that life isn't bad, your just having a bad day. 

To all the parents that feel like these days will never end, keep your head up, and remember one day we will miss these days! My mom told me that, and I kinda snickered!